Kevin’s upcoming Halloween party required a costume.
It needed to be Clever. Creative. Comical. Quirky. Cheap. Mostly, it needed to rival our reputation for being different.
One year I wore a column around my neck, with two deer emerging from my cleavage, a red ribbon on my lips, and purple hair as I represented the LITERAL description of “The Ideal Woman” from the Song of Solomon.
For her middle school party, Kacey disguised herself as a sofa table, complete with a lampshade on her head. Party-goers bumped into her, thinking she was actual furniture.
ME: “So, Kev, what’s your costume gonna be for this shindig?”
KEV: “I dunno. Maybe I’ll go as a telephone pole.”
ME: “You COULD go as a tree.”
KEV: “A tree? That’s so boring, mom…(long pause)…I think I’ll go as a log.”
Because that’s SO much more interesting than a tree.
Six pieces of poster board, a roll of woodgrain contact paper, and some black mesh garnered him a prize for “scariest costume”… not because the costume itself was creepy, but because the brain that produced the idea to dress up as a LOG is, apparently, pretty darn frightening.
I told him he should put a nametag on his log costume that read, “Hello, my name is Lincoln.” Then I laughed my silly head off.
Kevin, however, doesn’t appreciate my humor.